I once thought that I understood love. As a christian, I define love as quoted from the bible.

1 Corinthians 13

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.


If that is what love really is, then I guess I failed badly.


In theory, the bible is absolutely correct. It's basically the model answer to a successful relationship. But fact is, we, as sinful creatures, can never reach that point.


Patience: C'mon, look at us, we can't even stand retarded ppl. Take a look at retarded fights and arguments on youtube comments. Or forums. Just one silly comment from a STRANGER is enough to blow us up into a ball of fury. Patience? PFFFFFfffffffff...

Kind: Yeah. Kind for the 1st few months and at most the 1st few years. Every man for himself. Kindness will not last forever.

Envy: Truth be told, I'm one hell of a green eye monster. Envy is an understatement. I get JEALOUS. (NOTE: Envy and jealousy are very close in meaning. Envy denotes a longing to possess something awarded to or achieved byanother: to feel envy when a friend inherits a fortune. Jealousy on the otherhand, denotes a feeling of resentment that another has gainedsomething that one more rightfully deserves)

Jealous when Asyraaf gets to enjoy himself at a theme park while I rot at home with nothing to do. Jealous when he tells me how much fun he's having while I'm at work. Pisses the hell out of me. And because of that, I will lash it out on him. I know he just wants to share the joy with me, but I don't get any joy out of it. Like why the hell do u want me to imagine you having fun while i'm in front of the computer or rotting at home?? I don't understand!!!

Boastful and Pride: Argh... I'm a self-proclaim narcissist and egoistic bitch.

Rude: I'm really trying my best not to swear. But when someone pushes me to the limit, I get extremely rude with my words. Other than that I guess i'm fine.

Self-seeking: Refer to (kind). Every man for himself.

Anger: Even though I don't go berserk and behave like a suicidal mad(woman), I think I have a slight anger management issue. Like I can get angry so easily at the tiniest thing. Could be because I want things to be done my way?



Keeps no records of wrong: AHAHAHAHAH I believe all women on this earth are guilty for committing this sin.


Protects: Every man for himself, I repeat, every man for himself. My ex couldn't even protect me from a buff guy who bullied me in public.

Trust: I trusted. But I got betrayed. So no more trust for a long long time.

Perseverance: Well, I guess I did this by compromising most of the time. Spending money to go aussie and Jakarta.... yada yada yada....

Hope: Small as it seem, I do see a tiny light at the end of the tunnel.

So what is love?

Guess we'll never know unless we turn into saints.

Therefore, Love is bad.